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How to Improve Your Chances in Mediation

Learn when divorce mediation is likely to succeed -- and when it might not.
Even if you aren't sure that mediation is right for you, when you compare it to the financial and emotional costs of a divorce through the court system, you may decide to try mediation anyway. Before you do, read the following list of helpful hints on how to improve your chances of having a successful mediation.

Mutual decision to divorce
When the decision to divorce is mutual, spouses usually find it easier to begin working together on a settlement in mediation than they would if one spouse initiates the divorce without the consent of the other.  When the time comes, let your spouse know you're not ruling out the possibility of mediation.  Maturity and communication are the two watchwords in this process.  With the exercise of both, the parties should be able to use the mediation process to their fullest advantage and success.

You Have No Desire to Reconcile
Once you and your spouse have accepted your relationship is over, and neither of you believe reconciliation is possible, mediation is a positive mature way to deal with the many issues to be resolved.  With the help of the mediator you will be able to discuss your positions and issues and work to resolve your differences as you both would desire to do so.  Who knows, you could reconcile!

You Want to Stay on Good Terms With Your Spouse
If only for the sake of the children, it is to everyone’s advantage to stay on good terms. Maintaining positive communications with your spouse is the most effective way of ultimately resolving your domestic dispute.  Animosity and negativism toward your spouse will negatively impact your ultimate resolution of your domestic dispute.  Positive communication is essential to a successful mediation, and only you as a party to the mediation can accomplish that.

About Mediation
Mediation works, but only if the parties are willing to communicate and to openly discuss their positions and issues.  The process is totally confidential, and so if an agreement cannot be reached, then the parties will go away as though nothing had happened.  The communications of the mediation cannot be repeated.  The parties abilities to openly discuss and objectively examine not only their own position but the position of their spouse will lead to effective resolution of the issues.  The mediator’s role is to assist in focusing on the issues and developing possible solutions.  The parties are the ultimate decision makers and issue determiners. In a successful mediation there is no winner or loser, but satisfied issue resolvers.


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